A Collection of HijixOC One Shots
by Mayonee-samurai
Summary: This is going to be an on-going series of small stories of HijiXNachi from my other story. Just a bit of light-hearted Shinsengumi fun!


**This is just a fun one shot for HijikataxNachi. I love my Nachi so I might do these every so often if I get an idea. If you like Nachi and have any ideas for any one shots I would love to hear them :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama, it is owned by the one and only Sorachi Hideaki, Sunrise and Shueisha.**

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**Don't Pinch Me, I Don't Want to Know if I am Dreaming or Not.**

It was well into the afternoon when Hijikata arose from his slumber. The humidity of the room caused beads of sweat to form on his skin, dripping down his face as he kicked off the blankets. He turned to his side, expecting to see the face of a sleeping Nachi, but all his eyes met were the empty space of their room. _'Odd, she never wakes up before I do.'_

He shrugged, hoping that this means that his fists of love had finally gotten through to her and now she could be a respectful member of the Shinsengumi. He picked himself off his futon and stretched out the kinks in his muscles from the lack of movement. He changed into his uniform and left the room to search for his missing woman.

The halls of the quarters were silent, but he could hear voices in the distance. Out of curiosity, he followed the sounds. A few cackling troops ran through the halls in front of them, wearing nothing but boxers. _'What the hell?' _He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming, even though he couldn't think of a reason why he would dream of such a situation.

He spotted Yamazaki, who was whistling as walked while just wearing a pair of blue boxers.

"Oi Yamazaki, what do you think you're doing?!" He marched to him and spun him around so that he was facing him. As soon as Yamazaki noticed the presence of Hijikata, his whistling stopped, and the colour on his face paled.

"Vice-chief!" His eyes were dilated in fear as he shrunk under Hijikata's glare.

"Now, tell me why half the Shinsengumi are running around in their shit-stained underwear?" Yamazaki looked to each of his sides, as if he was trying to think of the best way to escape. A snarl spread across Hijikata's face. "It would be best if you told me, before I decide to add 'The act of wearing blue boxers in the presence of the Vice-chief is an offence punishable by death' to the Kyokuchuu Hatto."

Sweat dripped down Yamazaki's face by the bucket-loads, his eyes focusing on something out of Hijikata's peripherals. He turned his eyes to follow where he was looking, when Yamazaki spun himself out of his grasp and bolted down the halls.

"This is for your own good Vice-chief!" He slipped as he made a sharp turn, scrambling away before Hijikata could reach him.

"That bastard, I'll make him commit seppuku later." He lit up a cigarette and sighed, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut.

He followed the corridor that the clumsy Yamazaki took, leading to the back of Headquarters. He could hear the voices he heard earlier coming from outside. He could hear the chortles of laughter from what sounded like the majority of the Shinsengumi.

"Alright, tell me what you guys are up to before I slit all of your bellies myself!" He slammed open the sliding door, revealing what he could only consider to be a paradise.

The burnt auburn of the afternoon reflected on the glistening drops of white which shimmered in the light. The men of the Shinsengumi ran through a set of sprinklers, laughing in an almost picturesque manner as the white substance hit their exposed bodies. There was a group of the recruits lined up in legions, ready to engage in a war with water guns. They charged at each other, their gun squirting the white liquid at each other. He could see Yamazaki playing badminton with a few others as another set of sprinklers sprayed them.

"Mayonnaise." He could only whisper it, as all capabilities of speech left him as he watched the dream-like scene. He slowly walked through the sprinklers, ignoring the fact that his clothes were getting wet. He licked the droplets that landed on his lips. It was watered down, but he could recognise that flavour anywhere. He looked around, spotting Nachi and Okita lounging together in an inflatable pool full of mayonnaise. He trudged over to them and looked down at them. Nachi was resting her head on the edge of the pool and her legs draping over the opposite side, clad in only a bright red bikini that barely covered her chest. Noticing the looming Hijikata blocking her sun, she looked up at him, grinning ear to ear.

"You're finally awake, I was wondering how long you'd be knocked out cold." She spread her arms out wide, knocking the sleeping Okita in the face with the back of her hand. "You like what I did with the place? I thought it would be a fun way to beat the heat, and the guys seem to be enjoying themselves."

He scowled at her. "I will try and ignore the fact that you're all slacking off, but the real question is, why mayonnaise?"

He watched her as she stood up, her dark skin contrasting with the creamy shade of the mayonnaise water. It followed the contours of her body, dripping down her legs and back into the pool. She gave him a sensual smile when his eyes came back to hers. He blushed, unable to control the urge to ogle. She leaped over to him, draping her arms around his neck.

"I thought it would be a fun surprise, so Okita-senpai and I worked on it while you slept."

"No matter how much I like it, you are still wasting precious mayonnaise." He looked around. There was even a mayonnaise water slide; the men were fighting for the right to have a go.

"Well then, you'll just have to enjoy it to the fullest to make it worth it" A mischievous smile spread across her face as she pulled him down into the pool with her. They landed with a splash, the resulting wave soaking Okita, who continued to snore. His clothes were now sopping wet, but before he could protest, Nachi pulled him in for a kiss. He let her slip her tongue into his mouth, carrying the taste of mayonnaise with it. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer to him, letting himself ignore the rest of world, focusing only on the way Nachi's tongue played inside his mouth. '_She is mine'._

Their kiss was eventually broken off by an awoken Okita, who flipped the pool over, which were followed up by cheers from the men around them. Nachi laughed as Hijikata chased after Okita in the hope of smacking him down. Nachi got up and joined in the ongoing water gun war as her own one-man legion. The afternoon continued on with everyone enjoying the coolness of the watered down mayonnaise, marking the day as the only time Hijikata let them play around without threats of death while slacking off work.

They finally turned off the mayonnaise supply as the sun started to set. With everyone in high spirits, they went back inside to wash themselves off while chatting loudly about the outcomes of the war. Hijikata walked behind the crowd with Nachi and Okita, his fingers playing with hers.

His head snapped up, coming to a horrible realisation as reason snapped him back to reality. He stopped in his tracks, dragging Nachi back towards him.

She looked at him and frowned. "What's wrong sensei?"

"Where did you get it?" He grabbed her face and forced her to look at him. "Where did you get all that mayonnaise?"

The corridors shook as the men pushed and shoved in an attempt to escape. Nachi tried to grin, but the pressure of his hands on her face caused her cheeks to squish up.

"The funny thing is, Kondou and I were talking, he wanted to hold an intervention for you about how much mayonnaise you eat, and I thought of a good idea. So Okita-senpai and I stole all the mayonnaise from all your secret hiding spots and we used it for this fun event. Wasn't it fun, Toushirou? Much better than an intervention. Right, Okita-senpai?" She tried looking for Okita, but he'd already run off with the rest of the men.

Nachi scowled. "Tch, bastard, I'll get him back." Sweat formed on her face as she tried to wriggle out of his grip of steel, still trying to smile. "Hey Toushirou, I bet you could forgive me right? I'll help you hunt down Okita. It'll be a cute little couple thing we could do."

Hijikata let go of her. Nachi let out of a sigh of relief, but her smile faltered as she saw the spark of malice in his eyes.

"I have a fun game we can play. I'll give you 20 seconds head start. You better run Natou." She turned around and bolted away.

"Everybody run! He's coming!" She screamed as she stumbled around the corner away from him.

Hijikata went back to his room and grabbed his sword. The halls were once again silent. He bared his teeth, his eyes glowing with killing intent.

"Alright you bastards! If I catch any of you, I will kill you on the spot." He spoke loud enough for his growl to be carried through the hallway, so everyone could hear him. He pulled out his sword, throwing the sheath on the ground.

"Let the fun begin."


End file.
